“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark. That looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark, whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.”

Looking back, it was doomed from the start.

When I moved away from Malin, I moved in with 2 men across the city. The rent was cheap, the guys, Gavin and Andrew were awesome and I was excited for a change in my life. The guys were my age (19), loved the same music as me, were chilled out and didn’t mind me bringing my kitty to live with us.

Soon though, as they usually do with me, things got complicated. Gavin and I started falling for each other pretty hard. We’d make excuses to see each other, chat until the early hours about anything and everything and cuddle up when watching films. We knew it was a massive risk- living together and being a couple- but we thought it was worth it. Andrew was so enamoured with the idea of us being together that in my mind, it seemed like a lovely albeit risky set-up.

After a few months, things in the flat got quite rocky. While the relationship between Gavin and I got better and better, Andrew was getting steadily more jealous and resentful of me. He began finding problems with everything I did, had his friends up every night taking up the entire living room and being generally hostile until I felt unable to even leave my bedroom. Eventually, Gavin got tired of this and arguments between him and Andrew became a regular occurance.

Gavin and I decided to move out. I needed a reference from my landlady (Andrew’s mum… Yep, complicated.) and it turned out that I’d been living there illegally. Not only that but Andrew stole £100 from me which his mother didn’t believe. I was upset, Gavin was upset and Andrew blamed me for the breakdown of their friendship.

We made a drastic decision to move in with Gavin’s parents. We hated living in the flat, we really resented Andrew and despite only being together for 6 months, we didn’t want to be apart. We are one and the same; living apart just wasn’t an option and despite how much we were risking and how fast we were moving, we took the leap anyway.

Most people predicted we’d only be together for another 6 weeks. Andrew said it’d be about 3 months, maximum. 2 and a half years later and we are still going strong. The first hurdle in our relationship was fairly dramatic and upsetting but it set the precedent for our strength as a couple. We’ve fought bigger, scarier battles that have contained far more risk but the relationship has never died. We were fighters and we are fighters to this day.

Day three of the Scintilla project

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One comment

  1. *nodding my head; looks like u guys can get thru anything if u guys got thru that load of crap. May your years be filled with endearing bondage & fun fetishes and cats too!

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