Today’s interview is with somebody that identifies as an angel.
Before we started this interview, I was informed that most Otherkin’s identify as what they do in more of a spiritual way than physical, much like reincarnation though there are times when the two cross paths such as phantom limbs. He wanted this to be mentioned and kept in mind.
Do you think everybody has the possibility to find this within themselves or is it only allotted to a certain amount?
I think that everyone might have experienced another life where they were something else, but going into this life it wasn’t as strong as with us, so they don’t feel it. Not entirely sure why that is, or what makes us be able to. Maybe we choose to keep the slight knowledge of this, or maybe it’s just what we are soul-wise and that stays with us no matter what? I don’t think everyone would be able to find it, or remember it. (some might not want to. it can be…hard to deal with at times – in my personal experience – and the knowledge can be a bit shocking.) Perhaps at the end of a life we’re meant to have everything erased, but maybe there was a mistake and some are left with the knowledge of it? But, in short, I don’t think everyone would be able to find this within themselves, regardless of having been something else before.
Which pronouns do you prefer to be used?
I use male pronouns.
Is that quite common?
I’m not really sure if it’s common, truthfully. I’ve seen equal amounts of ‘kin using female and male, even gender neutral pronouns. I’m bi-gender, and would love to use gender neutral pronouns, but I want to learn more about them (when to use them as such, how they change with posession and such) before I go and do that.
Can you tell me about who you are, what being a Chimera with the job of being an Angel involves?
What exactly do you mean by who I am? Do you mean like…what I like to do, or what do I do as an angel and such? Don’t want to answer wrong, aha.
I love reading and writing as hobbies. It’s really the only think I like to do besides learning. Not sure if that has to do with being an angel at all, but it’s still who I am. I love nature, though, but days when the sky is filled with clouds. When it’s cool, crisp and only lightly raining outside, the sun barely poking through the clouds. I love to sit in the rain. I tend to be pretty compassionate, and very caring for others. I can’t hate. Dislike, maybe, but rarely and never for long. It’s not necessarily an angel thing. Angels can be evil, they can be cruel at times and vengeful. Sometimes, when it comes to the safety of those I care about, I can be…pretty rude. The one thing I can say I (at times) truly hate, is getting my free will taken away. As an angel I don’t get much of it. (regarding what I become in a next life, who I’ll be, who I Guard, ect…) So I loathe it. As an angel I’m a Guardian angel, one of four/five sectors. Messenger, Teacher (maybe, not sure if that’s an actual job or what some of us do), Healer, Guardian and Warrior. From those, as each, we branch off into six ranks, with more responsibility for each. Currently I’m a fourth rank Guardian, with three sets of wings. (we gain one pair for each rank we go up in. if we’re wingless, we get a set of marks. not sure what they look like, though, anymore.) Currently I’ve been incarnated to Guard and care for my current partner. (this is in my case, with what I am) I truthfully remember almost everything about being an angel, down to what both homes (one got destroyed) looked like.
How did you discover that you are an angel?
It’s hard to say. I’d always thought I was an angel, exclaiming it proudly to others. They obviously didn’t take much stock in it, and because of my brash, wild and mischievous personality, they didn’t even more. (stereotype of angels always being good and all) It’s just a feeling I’ve always had. For a while I pushed that away. I didn’t believe in God at all. But angels I always had, but due to my original stereotypes about angels and such, I couldn’t accept it. But after a while I realized that wasn’t true, and that angels were very diverse and not always under a God. I personally work for what I call Lord here, but they are no deity, no god or goddess. I guess I’ve always known. It’s the memories that really did it, as being an angel doesn’t really feel like anything specific, or do anything truly different than humans, even.
Have you spoken to your family about it? Or even friends?
Everyone online, including my partner, knows. In real life no one knows yet. Although I suspect my best friend might know, but wont say anything, as she followed my old account which I had used to talk about many things and one of those was being Otherkin.
Do you feel like it’s something you’re hiding or are you a generally the type to keep to yourself?
I’m generally the type to keep to myself. I do feel like I’m hiding it, though, despite that. I want others to know. But…it’s not easy. Especially with what I am. I think, besides otherkin, therians and such, folks who are religious would be more inclined to believe what I am. Not entirely much more, but a fraction. Those who aren’t…well, with the stereotypes of angels and such, they’d think it was mumbo jumbo as they’d think it was all religion related. If I was anything else than what I am, truthfully, I would have probably came out by now.
Do you know any other angels?
I know one actual angel, but we don’t (and can’t) really communicate. He’s the archangel Gabriel, and he tends to…protect me? I saw him in light form (he’s extremely fast, so that’s all I saw.) and I can feel his presence, but that’s about it. Online I know a few, and only one of my kind.
What did it feel like when you saw Gabriel?
Shocking is one way to describe it. It wasn’t really awe-inspiring or anything, more of like, “Oh, there goes Gabriel. Wow, I haven’t seen him in a while.” He was attacking something, something I’d noticed before he arrived. Not sure what it was, but it’s presence was…dark. And appeared in a dark form, opposite of Gabriel. Darker than the shadows.
Wow, that sounds quite incredible. Do you feel like being an angel is a kind of gift?
No. Truthfully no. I think of it as more of a curse. Like I’m always expected to be strong, be the one to stand up and handle things. For a while I was. Most things don’t affect me. Physical things. Like physical (and other types like that) abuse. I haven’t experienced physical abuse, but another kind I had. It never affected me. But emotional abuse… That does hurt me a lot. I also feel a lot like I’ve lost my free will, as I’ve said. I’m stuck in a body which doesn’t resemble at all what I am sex wise. (I look more like the male sex as what I am) I didn’t choose who to Guard. I dislike who I do guard. Tries to force me into doing things (not bad things, but still things I don’t want to do), and her headmate insults me a lot and tries to make everything about her. So, no, I don’t.
Ok, tell me about your angel homes
The first was small. I don’t remember it’s layout much, except for it was bright and there was a pool where new souls were and they would change shape and play about. We were constantly being threatened by what I now call Shadows. In the end we lost and that home was destroyed. We moved to a bigger planet after that and at that time I was about one thousand years old, or somewhere close. There’s tons of hills there, covered and dark green grass. Trees are scattered around and there’s a couple volcanoes, along with one ocean. It was much bigger than our last home. There was no pool for souls this time. It was always cloudy, sometimes raining and not much light. The temperature there was about fifty to sixty degrees fahrenheit. There were other beings living there, too, but I don’t remember what kinds. Only their presence.
What are shadows? I assume you don’t mean the common definition of shadow.
Ah, they’re kind of…shapeless beings. I’ve seen a couple here. Sometimes they can take a stronger shape, but are always faceless and colourless, even if they appear to be wearing clothes. Not all are bad, but the majority of them were. The two I saw here weren’t. One just observed me for thirty seconds, disappeared and I never saw again. That one had more of a shape. Big hat, long coat reaching to the floor, leg propped up against the wall. But faceless and all black. The other was more shapeless, but appeared humanoid and was all thite. That one was more skittish and ran as soon as I saw it. So far there’s no Otherkin who are Shadows of that kind.
Tell me about angel ranks. How do you move up and get wings etc?
It depends on how well you’re doing at your job, getting tasks completed and how well you do it, etc. Like any other normal job, really. We get more missions and responsibilities when we move up. Messengers give messages and such, sometimes travelling great lengths. Teachers basically teach angels about things (still not sure what). Healers help heal (more mentally) and ease pain when someone is dying and such. Guardians basically guard, protect and take care of others and sometimes can have the task of guardian a whole planet and doing things on that planet to make it better. Warriors protect, but more physically, and are the ones who fight battles. Kind of like an angel military.
Do you ever find yourself meeting people who say they are angels who you know blatantly arent?
No. Maybe with other kind of folks who are something else, but not with angels yet. Angels are many different things and can look so many different ways. I mean… I have ram horns. But I’m Chimera (actual species, not job) and that makes sense for that. But even angels who aren’t can take on animal forms and still be angels. We’re so broad and different. Maybe if they were the whole stereotype and such (big breasted, female, all ‘good’, Christian type angel, etc…) I would, but even then it’d be hard to tell. There are angels like that, so who am I to say?
I guess so. What advice do you have for those who relate to what you’re saying and may themselves think they’re angels?
Talk to others who are angels. Don’t be hesitant to say it if you look different than what you think angels are, because if you truly think you are deep down, through and through, then you probably are. Also, you’re not alone, and you do have free will to choose. Also, don’t always put others before yourself if you do that and can help it. You’re important too and deserve to be taken care of as well and treated right.
Do you have anything else you’d like to discuss?
No, nothing else.
Ok well thank you so much for your time! This has been completely fascinating!
You’re very welcome! I was happy to answer everything, and I am glad it was fascinating.