Two weeks ago was mine and Gavin’s three year anniversary. How he’s managed to stick around for that long is beyond my comprehension but anyway, I digress. As a gift, he took me to Liverpool for a few days. Liverpool is where I was born, where I lived until I was 12 and where most of my family live. I had a gorgeous time and will be writing more about it in my What I’ve Been Up To post at the end of the month.
I’ve always been torn on where to call home between Glasgow and Liverpool. The people I love the most in the world don’t live in Glasgow (apart from Gavin, obviously), they live in Liverpool and Largs. I feel guilty for calling either of them home as it automatically alienates people I care about especially seeing as home has such a heavy meaning when you have lived in around 17 different places in 22 years as I have.
I don’t feel at home in Scotland when people are slurring anti-England nonsense but on the other hand, I consider myself to be more Scottish than English. I’ve been happier in Scotland than anywhere else, I describe myself as, without even thinking about it, Scottish. It’s just who I am and where I feel at home.
When I got on the train home, I felt saddened that I’d seen so little of my family and that my grandparents are ageing pretty fast now. I felt saddened that I don’t see my family as much as I’d like but I also felt excited to be in my home again. I don’t romanticise Scotland, I see the bad and there is a lot of it but the good is just SO good and so beautiful that I sometimes find myself walking around the city centre grinning because I live only 5 minutes away from such beauty and culture.
When it comes to it, Scotland is where I’ve spent almost half my life, it’s where I’ve grown into the person I want to be, where I found some of the best friends I’ve ever had, the man in my life, my cats but most of all, Glasgow is the first place I’ve called home and truly meant it. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs since living here but they’ve all been worth it and I don’t ever, for even a second, regret moving here.