“People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.”
For the past five years, I’ve been cutting people out if I no longer like being around them. Family, friends, boyfriends, doesn’t matter. If I don’t have to work with them then I don’t have to be around them. It seems cold and very selfish and it definitely is the latter. I spent a lot of my youth putting up with people who constantly put me down, made me feel small, used me and generally killed my self-worth. I did this because I felt I had to. I am a fiercely loyal person and if you have my friendship, my love or even affection from me you most likely always will. People used this to their advantage, though, mistook my good nature for weakness and of all things I am, weak isn’t one of them.
I also kept people around that I no longer liked. Because it felt ‘mean’ not to and when I put it as bluntly as that, it sounds pretty cruel. What I’ve realised, though, is it’s far more cruel to keep someone in your life that you don’t like. It’s detrimental to both of you and in my case, I’ve found myself becoming a person I don’t like and don’t think I am around them. Bitchy, cold, rude and there’s no excuse at-all for it.
So, I’ve stopped doing it. I’ve stopped being around people who don’t help me grow as a person or who generally aren’t nice to be around. It seems childish but it’s one of the most mature things I’ve ever done. The only way I can truly become who I want to be is if I remove all negativity from my life or, more realistically, as much as possible. If I start letting go of those who I don’t make happy and who don’t make me happy, I have a chance of really living the way I want to and being the person I want to be. Bitchy, cold and rude are three character flaws I really don’t show often and I’d like to take the ‘not often’ down to ‘not at-all’.
Sorry this is quite badly written, it’s a bit of a rant!